Sex Is The Answer?
by YaoiLove101
Summary: After Axel and Xemnas get into a fight for the billionth time, Zexion offers a solution. Twisted fanfic, and the characters are a little OOC, but I think it's still a rather good story!


Hey everyone! I actually got this idea from an episode of _American Dad_, so… hope you all enjoy!

KH – KH

It all started one day when everyone in the organization was sitting in the grey area, watching Xemnas and Axel have one of their regular fights; this one was apparently about how Axel thought Xemnas was lazy, because he never went on missions like everyone else did. After about ten minutes of fighting, Roxas was the first to snap. "Enough!" Everyone stared at him, wide-eyed. No one ever thought that the lowest ranking member would lash out at his superiors, especially the highest ranking member. "Why the hell do you two have to get into fights every morning? Why does everything lead to you two yelling at each other?"

"Yeah, you guys should just fuck and get it over with." Zexion said in his usual emotionless voice, and everyone stared at him this time, so he explained his reason for saying that. "Clearly they have repressed sexual feelings for each other that they're channeling into hostility."

"How's the psychology book?" Xigbar asked, knowing that must have something to do with his reasoning.

"I'm only on page 30, but I understand how the whole world works now."

Axel suddenly spoke up. "Excuse me… I'm going to go throw up." He then ran to a trashcan which was in the corner of the room and vomited into it.

Xemnas scowled. "Well, I'm not too fond of the idea either."

"You better not be!"

"I just said I wasn't!"

Zexion sighed. "Trust me, if you two fuck, you'll feel better."

"Shut up, Zexion!" Xemnas yelled before stomping out of the room.

That night, Axel was sitting on his bed when his door opened and in walked Xemnas. "Ever heard of knocking?" He asked bitterly.

"This is my castle, I can walk into a room without knocking if I damn well please!"

"Not someone else's room, you dumbass!"

"It's not like you were doing anything!" Xemnas growled and looked around. "Where's Roxas?"

"He had a headache, so he went to bed early, why?"

"Good," Xemnas sat on the bed and crossed his legs. "And since tonight is the full moon, Saïx won't be leaving his room." He looked at Axel who was glaring at him for coming into his room and sitting on the bed like he belonged there. With lightning fast movement, he suddenly grabbed Axel's wrist and pinned him down on the bed before crawling on top of him.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Axel yelled. "Get the hell off me!"

"I want to test and see if Zexion's theory is right."

"What? I am not going to let you fuck me!"

"Why not? Afraid you'd enjoy it?"

"No! We just hate each other, that's why we always get into fights; not because we have some weird sexual feelings for each other!"

"Well, we won't know for sure until we do it."

"And how in the hell are you going to explain this to Saïx?"

"I'm not; Saïx is not to know about this, and neither is Roxas." Xemnas growled and lowered his head so his face was mere inches away from Axel's. "This is going to be our little secret."

"Xemnas, I am not going to–" He was interrupted by Xemnas' lips on his. Axel's eyes shut tightly and he tried to get away, but by then, Xemnas had pinned both his wrists above his head and his legs were being pinned by Xemnas'; he couldn't move. When Xemnas pulled away, Axel turned his head to the side and growled, at least thankful that it seemed like Xemnas was giving him time to think it over. "…Fine." He mumbled. "Let's just… get this over with."

"Fine." Xemnas agreed and got off Axel long enough to flip him over so he was lying on his stomach. Xemnas quickly pulled Axel's pants down before unbuckling and unzipping his own. He left the rest of their clothes on since it was only going to be a quick fuck anyway. He didn't even bother preparing Axel before he thrust himself all the way in.

"Ahh!" Axel screamed, feeling nothing but the shooting pain. "You fucker! You could have at least have used some lube!"

Xemnas' hand slapped over Axel's mouth as he growled, "Quiet." He pulled out almost all the way before slamming back in roughly, causing Axel to scream into his hand.

After a few minutes, Xemnas felt his climax nearing and he reached for Axel's erection before pumping it in time with his thrusts. After they both came, Xemnas pulled out of Axel and sat back down on the bed, panting a bit. He finally broke the silence a moment later. "Well, I don't feel any different."

"I don't either." Axel growled, unable to do anything other than lie there, his ass hurting from the non–prepared fuck.

"I guess that plans shot to hell, then." Xemnas stood up after buckling and zipping his pants back up.

"I told you it wouldn't work!"

"Well, it's not like you did very much to try and stop me."

"You had me pinned! What could I have done?"

"You agreed to it!"

"After you pretty much forced me!"

"You know what? I'm not going to put up with this!" Xemnas went over to the door. "We fucked, and it's over; it's behind us now!" He then turned and walked out, slamming the door behind him.

_'Fucking asshole!'_ Axel thought, angrily.

The next day after Axel finished his mission, he was waiting for Roxas on top of the station tower in Twilight Town. He sighed as he thought about what had happened the night before. _'How am I supposed to explain it to Roxas? I know Xemnas said not to, but I can't keep this from him. What am I supposed to say though? 'Hey Roxy, I know you and I have been dating for a little over a month now, but I have to tell you that I let Xemnas fuck me last night.' Great…'_

"Axel?" Roxas asked as he walked onto the ledge and sat down next to him.

"Oh, hey Roxas."

"Are you okay? You didn't even say hi to me this morning, and now you look upset about something."

Axel took a deep breath before he spoke up. "Roxas, there's something I really have to tell you."

"What is it?"

"Well, you know how yesterday Zexion was telling everyone how he thought that if Xemnas and I fucked, we wouldn't fight all the time anymore."

"…" Roxas' eyes widened in realization. "You didn't…"

"I didn't have a choice, Roxy! Xemnas came into my room last night and practically forced himself on me!"

"Practically? What do you mean 'practically'?"

"Well, I…I agreed to it, but–"

"You agreed to it?" Roxas yelled as he stood up.

"I really didn't have any other choice! Xemnas had me pinned to the bed, and I'm sure he would have done it even if I said 'no'! He told me not to tell, but I couldn't keep this from you!"

"…Axel, I appreciate the honesty…" Tears streamed down his face. "But how could you do this to me?"

"I'm really sorry, Roxas…"

Roxas didn't say anything else; instead, he just left to go back to the castle. When he got back, he went straight to the grey area and saw Zexion sitting on one of the sofas. He walked over and punched him so hard, he knocked him right out of the seat.

"What the hell was that for?" Zexion yelled.

"That was for telling everyone that you thought that Xemnas and Axel fucking was a good idea! Thanks to what you said, Xemnas actually did it; he fucked my boyfriend!"

"What?" Saïx asked, having been in the room the whole time.

"You heard me! Xemnas fucked Axel last night!"

"He…He wouldn't do that." He argued, but not sounding all too sure himself.

Just then, Axel came running into the room and up to Roxas. "Please, Roxy, don't be mad."

"How can I not be mad? You cheated on me, Axel!"

"I didn't cheat on you! I already told you that it wasn't my choice!"

"You said you agreed to it! How does that not make it your choice?"

"And I told you, he had me pinned to the bed; he would have done it anyway!"

"…Excuse me." Saïx said and walked out, slowly, although clearly pissed. He stormed down the halls of the castle until he got to Xemnas' room, and he kicked open the door harshly. "Xemnas, you bastard! How could you cheat on me?"

"What?" Xemnas asked as he stood up from his desk chair. "What are you talking about?"

"Don't give me that! You know perfectly well what I'm talking about! How could you sleep with Axel last night?"

_'Fuckin' pyro…'_ He thought. "Saïx, I just wanted to see if Zexion's theory was right. It was just a quick fuck, that's all."

"I don't care! That's still considered cheating, and to add insult to injury, you decided not to tell me! I had to hear it when Roxas and Axel were fighting!"

"Saïx…" Xemnas sighed and walked over, placing his hand on his cheek. "I love you, you know I do."

He stepped back after smacking Xemnas' hand away. "Don't touch me!" He growled. "You think you can just sweet talk me, and I'll suddenly forgive you and fall back into your arms? No, I refuse to do that!"

"I'm sorry."

"No, you're not! You're only saying you're sorry because you want this to be over with! That's not going to happen, Xemnas! I can't forgive you for this!" He yelled and ran out of the room.

The next day, Xemnas went into the grey area and saw Saïx, but no one else was there. (Everyone else had missions that day, so Xemnas and Saïx were alone in the castle.) "Saïx…" He whispered, and all he got was a glare. "Saïx, I really am sorry about what I did. It was stupid, and I really didn't think it through. I've been thinking, why don't… why don't you have sex with someone else too?"

Saïx turned and stared at him, wide-eyed. "You… want to get me laid?"

"Yes, because I don't want to lose you."

"…Well, it would make us even."

"Good. So… why don't you go sleep with someone tonight? You won't have to tell me who it is or anything."

"Okay." He replied with an affirmative nod.

That night, Saïx was walking down the halls of the castle, thinking about what Xemnas had said. _'Who am I possibly going to sleep with, though?'_ He stopped in front of the door that was marked with a big "XIII" on it. _'Roxas!'_ He smirked and walked inside the room to see Roxas lying on the bed with his face buried in the pillow.

Roxas' head bolted up when he heard his door open. "Saïx? What are you doing in here?"

Saïx closed the door and began explaining. "Roxas, Xemnas has given me permission to sleep with someone else as payback for him sleeping with Axel, and I decided you'd do nicely."

"Forget it! I'm not sleeping with you! I'm not a whore!"

"I never said you were, and I'm not one either. Think about it, though, you're still mad at Axel, aren't you?" Roxas nodded. "So, what better way to pay him back then to sleep with someone else. Plus, I'm his ex, and that would definitely stick in his craw!"

Roxas thought about for a minute before he nodded. "Alright. I guess we could try it, since we both want payback anyway."

Saïx nodded before getting on the bed with Roxas. After they removed all their clothing, Saïx was just about to enter Roxas, when he suddenly hesitated.

"What's wrong?" Roxas asked. "Just get it over with already."

Saïx moved away a bit. "…This is wrong. No, this is _beyond_ wrong. I know that Xemnas cheated on me, but cheating on him – even if I have his permission – just feels so wrong."

Roxas sighed and nodded. "…I know what you mean."

"Then why are we doing this?"

"I don't know!"

"Then let's just forget about this, and pretend like it never happened."

"Deal."

Saïx got dressed and left the room before heading to Xemnas'. When he got there, he immediately opened the door and ran onto the bed where Xemnas was sitting.

"Saïx? What are you doing here? I thought we were going to sleep with someone tonight…"

"I tried to, but I couldn't go through with it!"

"You have to, Saïx, for the sake of our relationship!"

"Screw it! I'm not going to! I don't care that you slept with Axel, we'll get through it somehow!"

Xemnas smiled one of his rare smiles. "You mean it?"

"Yes, I do!" Saïx leaned over and kissed him, gently. "I love you."

"I love you too." Xemnas whispered before kissing him again, pinning him down onto the bed.

Meanwhile, in Roxas' room, Axel knocked on the door, and he heard a 'come in'. "Roxas," He said as he opened the door and closed it behind him. "I know I said this before, but I really am sorry about sleeping with Xemnas. I swear, it was just a one-night thing, and it'll never happen again. I love _you_, and I always will!"

"…I know." Roxas said and stood up, walking over to Axel, and wrapped his arms around his neck. "I forgive you, and I'm sorry too, Axel." He kissed him, slowly and gently. When he pulled back, he spoke up again. "When I almost slept with Saïx, I understood what you meant when you said that sleeping with someone you don't love is meaningless."

"You almost slept with Saïx?" He yelled.

"Yeah, but I didn't really do it. Besides, now we're even."

"…I guess you're right. So, you forgive me then?"

Roxas smiled for the first time in a couple days. "I already said I did, dummy!" He kissed Axel again to prove it.

KH – KH

Hey! I know this story is a little strange, and the characters are a little OOC, but like I said, I got this idea from an episode of _American Dad_! So… I hope you all enjoyed!

_**NICE REVIEWS MAKE ME HAPPY!**_ …Not nice reviews make me emo.


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